I'm drive I can fine osifer
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
