Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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