yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
