i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
