I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize