what day is it and did you see me today?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Damn victory sex feels great
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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