I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
