you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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