Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
