My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
