Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
