Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize