we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
COCAINE IS GR8
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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