I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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