Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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