don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
