If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
