At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
