Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize