One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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