oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
