I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
