i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
