If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
she told me i tasted like america
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
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