sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
