just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
