Pappa wants mamma naked
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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