this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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