I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
