I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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