great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
