I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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