I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize