idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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