someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
