Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
