I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
