I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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