He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
