He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
