no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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