yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
