no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize