Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
