I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
