you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
