Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
