i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
