i can't believe i had my finger in that
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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