don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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