That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
