Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
