her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
