I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
