i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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