Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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