It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
