ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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