maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
