Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
