u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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