Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
