More tranny stories later!
I love having hate sex.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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