Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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