You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
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