She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
