Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
