i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
