They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
