I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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