I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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