i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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