do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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