I think im going to throw up on grandma
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
